A Thank You to Chip-George
So my Uncle Chip moved on today. I hate to say "passed on" or "died" or any euphemisms for death. He moved on. Shuffled off from this mortal coil.
As they say, he's in a better place. Moved on to the next journey. In no more pain. Close to those who went ahead of him.
Before he moved on, I was alternately angry and sad at the situation. Sad for him and his wonderful family. Angry at the cancer. Angry at what I feel is the purposeful ineptness of the cancer industry. Angry at chemotherapy.
Perhaps it's short-sighted of me to throw blame at the cancer industry, but I truly believe they shut out some treatments that can help cure cancer.
And while chemo does has a good success rate with certain types of cancer (like testicular cancer, childhood leukemia and breast cancer) it can also cause great suffering. Adding months or years onto a cancer patients life is great, but at what cost?
But - my anger got me off-topic, and as Yoda or a Buddhist monk might say, anger doesn't get you anywhere.
So I fall back to sadness, but not for my uncle. For his wife, his kids and grandkids. For his brothers and sisters who loved him dearly. And of course the rest of his family and friends that will miss him.
Chip, or George, or Chip-George as some called him is doing fine. I don't know how I know this, I just do.
The big thing I take away from the great life he lived in his short time on this little planet is this:
I don't recall ever seeing him sad. He seemed to always be smiling, always had a positive outlook, no matter the situation. Even well after his cancer and therapy. He always had a pleasant greeting and you felt that he was genuinely happy to see you.
On reflection of this, I'm *not* that sad. We got to experience Chip and learn from him. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could all be a little more like him, happy and positive, despite the crap going on around us? Wouldn't it better if we all greeted strangers with a big hearty hello and a smile from ear to ear?
Yes, his life was cut short, shorter than most would like. But because of the disease, we got to see positivity in the face of death. To look death in the eyes and still laugh and love and have fun is truly amazing, and we all got to learn this lesson through Chip.
I don't care if you believe in God, or many Gods or no God or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster --- no matter what, I think you can agree there's a lot to be gained from observing the way Chip lived his life.
So ... if I could say some final words to him, they'd be this: "Thanks for hanging out with us for a while down here on planet Earth. Keep everyone Chipper, wherever you are, and we'll see you in the next lifetime, my friend."
Some Gum-Flapping About the Tea Party Movement
I would like to take a moment to talk about Tea Parties. Unfortunately, this is not about one of my favorite bands, The Tea Party. (Although I will diverge for a moment to say that I've recently discovered that The Tea Party's driving influence and lead singer, Jeff Martin, has had a solo career and has recently started a new band called The Armada.)
Alas this is about the TEA parties, or "Taxed Enough Already" groups that have caused ruckus' around the U.S. I first found out about them through what was at first a Ron Paul meetup group.
The group had staying power and wanted to get together after Paul's campaign was over. After all, Paul himself didn't quit, he created something with lasting power called the Campaign for Liberty.
The 1st TEA Parties started on April 15th, 2009, after Obama took office. The whole point of them (at first) was to protest taxation and the fact that our elected reps are ignoring us. It was a cross-platform thing, calling both Republicans and Democrats to task for fucking us over in many ways.
The people at the rally I went to made stirring speeches about the wasteful spending in D.C., about how both Bush and Obama are selling us out, how the Federal Reserve is destroying our dollar. The callback to the original Tea Parties, I thought, was a pretty powerful symbol to rally behind.
One guy actually dressed as William Wallace, complete with sword, shield and face paint and had the crowd worked up with his oration. One line I love (I'm paraphrasing here) was, "It is neither the corporate facism of the Republicans nor the liberal socialism of the Democrats - we must call to task our Representatives".
All great stuff, I thought: well meaning, and who in their right mind could disagree with such patriotism? Don't we all want to be free and be taxed less?
Alas, the idea got somehow twisted. The fake (corporate) Republicans glommed onto the TEA Parties, with coverage on FOX News. They sent many liars and cheats who voted for Bush's bailout packages to speak at these TEA Parties. It was ludicrous to me that a guy like John Boehner (R-OH) could speak at an event about how we should cut back on spending when he himself voted FOR spending when Bush was in power.
Meanwhile you've got the liberals and most of popular opinion (many people I see online and in my circles at least) who decry the TEA Party movement as a bunch of backwards, ultra-conservative nutjobs who are just afraid of change.
While this *would* describe the religious right (a group that I disagree with entirely) I would say that yes, many in the TEA Party movement ARE afraid of change, when that change is taking more money from the people and giving more power to the central government.
Centralized government is wrong and exactly the thing we fought against to start this country. You can be a liberal, a conservative, or anything at all and believe in what the people that started the TEA Party movement stand for.
Getting us to believe in (and fight for) left or right is a big part of distracting us from what's really going on. Those in charge don't care about being tagged "Republican" or "Democrat" - they'll vote for pork either way.
So why the hell NOT get behind such freedom movements as the TEA Party?
Well, other than the fact that some call them Teabaggers.
Random AIM bot sillyness
I thought this was funny. Happened to me probly a year ago, but I dug it up recently.
I'll have to explain a bit first. There used to be a service that grabbed two random AOL accounts and started a conversation between them, each one seeing a random name (like SexlessCoho or MutantSalmon) as the other person. It starts the convo off with a random phrase, as it did here. (For more info, these were known as Troutbots and are probably still used - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheGreatHatsby)
I was aware of these "bots", the other person was obviously not:
(We both see this 1st message)
Bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word.
SexlessCoho
no it's not
(me)
(From here on SexlessCoho is the random person's typing)
wwf who is this?
SexlessCoho
it's your conscience
(me)
who is this? you obviously know who i am. this is retarded i feel like i'm in 6th grade
SexlessCoho
no I don't know you
a message popped up in my im from you
(me)
no it didn't
SexlessCoho
k bye now
SexlessCoho
yes it did, now stop masturbating so much
(me)
On a cold winter's night
One very cold Friday night, Lynn and I decided to go to our favorite spot for beer and wings. Buffalo Wild Wings, our ultimate mecca, the place where the bartender knew our usual drinks and was pouring us a Labatt Blue and a Bud Light without us having to say a word.
Something was different that night, however. As we neared town, we saw brake lights. Too many of them and not in the right spot. Lynn was driving her pickup truck and stated that it was icy as hell (or some analogy to that effect, as ice couldn't form too well in hell). She threw the truck into four-wheel-drive mode and gained some control. SOME control.
See, this was black ice we were on, the worst kind. You can't see it at night and you have almost no grip on the road, you can hardly walk on it. It's slicker than slick can be, and we came upon it with no warning.
We quickly figured out what the lights in front of us were: cars that had spun off into the ditch.
Lynn pulled the truck over to the side of the road. We knew we had to get out and help, and Lynn was ready to. I didn't want to. My heart started racing and panic began to set in. I somehow knew this would test us both, and I didn't want to be tested just now. Hell, in my mind I was just about to get drunk and gorge myself. I steeled myself, looked at Lynn, and was then ready to do whatever needed to be done. (I seem to remember nodding to each other like, "Let's do this")
We got out and headed towards the several cars in the ditch. It looked like two or three cars and a couple people had gotten out. There was a foot or two of snow in the ditch that people were getting stuck in. People were slowing down because of the ice and then just sliding right off the road into the banks of snow.
I came upon a group of kids trying to get a young woman out of the ditch. They didn't seem to know how, so I took charge. "Do you know how to rock it?", I asked, aware at the same time how silly that sounded. She said no, and I explained that she would put the car in reverse, we'd push. Then she'd slam it into forward and we'd let her rock forward. We would repeat until the car was free.
It worked pretty well, and we got her out, but there was something I was ignoring. More cars were coming down the road. "Shit", I thought, focusing on the wrong thing, get people out of the ditch later, we need to warn them about the ice first.
At this point my memory of what happened is all scattered, so I hope you'll forgive me. I've never been in a battle or war situation, but I can guess things would be similar. So much stuff is happening at once that you just react. That's what Lynn and I did. Here are some things that happened.
Lynn and I talked about getting flares or a hazard sign. Lynn was standing in the middle of the road waving people down, to at least let them know to slow down (I believe she had a flashlight). As they went off in the ditch near her, she would keep advancing down the road.
I called 911, the lady said there was ice all across the county, no cops could be spared, they'd get to us when they could. I had to get mean and state how grave the situation was. I have no idea exactly what I said.
One car managed to stop in it's own lane. Another was coming, very slowly, but couldn't stop. It slid right into the ass of the one before it, hitting it with a bang. Kids got out of each car, one was wearing shorts and a T-shirt ("Goddamn kids not prepared, and I must be getting old to think like this").
Three kids were standing in between the two cars and another was coming in, out of control. Lynn and I knew what was going to happen...like pool balls, one into the other, into the other. The kids stood there dumbfounded. I had a vision of them pinned between cars or chopped in half.
"Move!", Lynn yelled. But they stood there. "Move now!", I yelled louder. No movement. The car came closer. I commanded at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT FROM IN BETWEEN THE CARS, NOW!!!", and finally they ran off to the side of the road.
Sure enough, like a demolition derby, the car rammed into the 2nd one propelling it forward into the 3rd. Those kids would've been in a world of hurt.
Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion and there were so many bangs and crunches that it was commonplace, it felt almost like a video game.
There were several cars on either side of the road. There were now enough lights to get everyone slowed down enough by the time they reached the ice.
I believe it was about then that a cop showed up. He pulled over to the side of the road to park and immediately got himself stuck. "Idiot.", I thought to myself. But then I remembered that I grew up in Buffalo and knew how to deal with snow - this is Lima, OH and they don't get it as bad as we do.
Even though the cop was there, I knew he wasn't in charge yet - WE were. The cop started talking to the kids about the accidents, getting names, license numbers, etc. rather than worrying about the people still going off the road. Again, "Idiot", I thought.
But shortly after, things seemed well enough where no one would get injured and we decided our services weren't needed any more. We drove away to get our beer and marveled to ourselves..."What the FUCK just happened?"
I grew up a lot that night. I knew I could take charge and had to take charge at times. I also realized how strong a woman Lynn is - she didn't back down from anything.
I'll tell you one other thing: that Labatt Blue tasted REALLY good that night.
Poker and Zen
A friend and I used to correlate poker strategy with life. There are ways to play poker like "tight/aggressive" and "loose/passive".
Many times I've thought to myself, "Man, maybe I should be more tight/aggressive in life. If I take control and really get in there and fight and move stuff around, maybe things will go better". In some cases this worked, but it also lead to more stress, frustration and anxiety.
I think this is because you CAN'T control everything in life - you have to let go of some things.
On the other hand if you play the "loose/passive" strategy, you will find that sometimes nothing gets done, or things you could have had that you wanted just passed right by. You're like, "it's all good man", with a stoner mentality of just riding the wave. That sounds very Zen but you also may not progress or grow. There is definitely less stress with this life strategy, but also less gain.
So life *is* like a poker game: to maximize your winnings you must switch up strategies. Different opponents and situations require different strategies. Sometimes be aggressive. Sometimes step back and let things fall where they may.
And above all else, you cannot change the cards. Just play the cards you're dealt.
Terrell Owens and his media circus come to Buffalo ... and tear it apart?
T.O. In the B-lo. Really?
That's all I have to say: really!?
Ok, maybe that's not *quite* all I have to say, or this post could have just been a tweet.
I actually have quite a lot to say on the T.O. "issue" if we can call it that. I say it like that because it's a non-issue, or at least it should be.
The Western New York media has been fawning all over T.O. since his arrival. Every little thing has been reported Entertainment Weekly style: "T.O. found a place to live now", "It's a place overlooking the lake", "It has 5 bathrooms and 2 jacuzzis", "Oh no, the deal fell through". I wouldn't be surprised to read a story about how T.O. farted and it smelled like broccoli with a vague hint of paprika.
The great WGR 550 itself even has a section on their site devoted to "T.O.'s Tweets", and devotes a good deal of on-air time to the guy.
Granted, it's good entertainment. Granted, the T.O. drama train helps sell tickets (and apparently, according to the Buffalo News, that's going really well). And granted that it elevates Buffalo's stature nationally somewhat having a prime NFL star come here.
But this media circus is going to kill the Buffalo Bills as a team.
Hear me now and believe me later (but listen to me sometime soon), all the "me me me hey look at me hey I am the best" logorrhea coming from T.O.'s mouth has to have an effect on the other players.
Weren't we sold the whole "team-based" concept when Marv Levy came back? Levy installed Jauron, a firm yet underspoken coach that would build a team that had quiet confidence. The main precept of the philosophy being that the whole was greater that its parts.
For several years now the Bills have been building that machine; a team comprised of players that have attitude, strength of character, a commitment to the team and last but not least, very little ego.
Now along comes a huge cog thrown into that machine in the form of a brash, me-first wide receiver. How long will it take before the some other players start losing their discipline and start taking plays off like T.O.? "Why should I put out 100% when the other guy isn't?", is what many players start thinking and that line of thinking has a snowball effect.
T.O. has been not only a disruption everywhere else he's been, but a downright menace. Yes, Philadelphia went to the Super Bowl with him, but it could be argued they were a better team without him. Let's look at Dallas this year and see if they do better without him.
The Bills are going to be dragged into the muck this year, thanks to T.O. and the media circus that follows him like flies swarming around a pig.
Ah, but I always like to end my ranting on a happy note, so here it is: at least with T.O. in the fold, the upcoming Bills season will be entertaining. (And perhaps that explains why the Bills got him in the first place.) So hold onto your hats and, dare I say it ... get your popcorn ready ... but moreso for off-the-field antics.
Random Update about Myth Books, Guitar Playing and Church Camp
Rather than pump-priming with this post, I'm "work-priming". I can't focus and have no chutzpah to be able to do anything. To me, those are the worst times: when you just sit there, wanting to be able to do stuff, but physically and mentally you're just shot, stuck in 1st gear and can't get out of it.
I attempted to break out of the rut by posting tweets but found I couldn't pack what I wanted to say into 140 characters, so here we are in this blog post.
Last night was gorgeous out. The church camp next door has started filling up with visitors and the ambience emanating from it feels great. It's just nice to have people nearby, especially lots of kids running around playing. If not for the church camp people, the only other sounds are from the many frogs in our pond, or occasionally from our neighbor's rooster. I guess the air is also punctuated at times with kids shooting guns across the street as well, but I digest.
So I sat outside with the dogs last night and played guitar for the first time in weeks. It's nice to feel like I finally am pretty good at it, but the acoustic I have is a little tough to play. Maybe all acoustics are like that, I don't know.
Earlier in the day I had gotten my car back, $500 in repairs later. It sounds and runs pretty good and will be the backup vehicle to head to Buffalo, in case Mom can't go and we don't take her car. Lynn will be scared to drive in it, but it'll be fine.
When I got home from work (around 6:00) it was over 90 degrees out - too hot for the dogs AND for me. I used to like the heat, but maybe I haven't gotten used to it yet this year. So I napped as I waited for it to cool down when I could run the dogs.
Woke up and Lynn was playing with her brand new iPod touch (she seems to really like it, natch). About 8:30, it was cool enough to run. Despite it being my first jog (or "yog") in a while we went fast and far, which is a testament to cross-training with biking really helping out.
I then made some Kahlua Mudslide and sat down to play WoW for the first time in months. I made a new account, referred from Lynn's, so we could get the 3x XP bonus. I rolled a Troll Shaman to go with her Troll Mage. It's fun and ok so far and I've played an hour each of the past 2 nights. The bonus XP rocks and we made it almost to level 10 in those 2 hours. Being able to summon each other is a nice bonus as well. Not sure if I will continue playing or not - if it stays around an hour a day that'd be ok, but I can't allow it to get more than that. Stupid Warcrack.
I realize this post is all out of whack timeline-wise, but we are jumping back to when I earlier said I played guitar. Then I settled in for some late-night reading. Myth Inc. Link was the book dujour and it just ROCKS. Why should you read it? Because one chapter comes from the point of view of a pet dragon with a one-word vocabulary, and you learn that the dragon isn't the pet but instead a supremely wise being using these humans as an experiment.
That is it, your quickly-written, barely-edited blog post. It's been a while, but I suspect I'll be posting more often for a bit what with the Buffalo trip coming up tomorrow. Peace, my homies!
Buffalo Trip (Saturday) - REDO!
Well crap --- I found an old blog post from weeks ago that I had since rewritten. I figured I might as well slap it up here for those couple of people that actually read this site!
-----------------
So, Saturday was great. Finally got a chance to stop out to sister Mary Kay's and see her and the whole family. We talked outside for a while until Catharine, Mary Kay's oldest (12) got back from her lacrosse match. They lost by one point to Orchard Park.
We went to Vito's for coffee and lunch - had a wonderful chicken finger sub (every bit as good as Bella's) and admired the renovations of the store.
Then we came back to play a bit and the kids bounce all over the place, demanding my attention. It was chaotic ("Uncle John, look at this... Uncle John, can I do this?") but I loved and savored every second of it. I got LOTS of great pics of the kids (and Mary Kay and Billy of course). The younger two (Lauren and Mikey) were enthralled with my iPod touch - I was glad I had put lots of games on there. We also rocked out to Rockband and the kids were really good (apparently they've beaten the game). I was able to pick up the guitar real quick (it's the same as Guitar Hero, after all) and also tried doing the vocals which was weird (Mikey was cracking up as I actually tried to *sing* and was awkwardly doing some high notes.) He said something that I loved: "You're like an uncle but a cousin too" and had earlier said I was the best uncle... it just killed me.
Then it was pizza from Vito's, white pizza and a cheese pep. Mmm...I've been spoiled by all this great Buffalo food. Then bowling in the village of Hamburg. Pretty neat to see all the updates to the main streets in Hamburg, with the traffic circles and whatnot.
Then around 11:00, even though I knew I was getting tired, I knew I had to make it out to Scott's sister's house for a get-together. Scott, Heather and another great old friend, Steve would all be there, not to mention Lisa, who is awesome. I had already had a few drinks so I just milked one the whole night. I got a text from Mary Kay asking if I had gotten there yet, she was worried, and it felt good to know she cared about me. (I didn't notice the text until like 2:00 so hopefully she didn't worry *too* much.)
I had some great conversations with both Heather and Scott, together and individually. Heather loved on me and said how much she missed her "Jonahanalicious" and I couldn't believe it. I always thought she was great but didn't realize how much of a friend she thought me. She, Scott and I talked about Life, the Universe and Everything and how we're going to fulfill our dreams. I left around 3:00AM tired but so glad I could spend that time with them.
How to break through productivity walls
When you can't get work done, can't focus on things, what do you do? Well what I used to do was pound my head against a wall and FORCE myself to do it. That resulted in little production, poor quality and not being happy.
Another option is simply do something else. Bonus points if that activity is something creative, like writing a blog post. It helps you spark other parts of your brain, gets the juices flowing, lets you look at life from another angle...and most of the time that's exactly what you need.
No job, however good a job it is, can be done repetitively with you liking to do it the whole time. Switching gears is a necessity. My job allows me to be creative and logical in different amounts at different times, which I love.
But the fact that I'm still thinking about the same thing (the Internet, web sites) can lead to stagnation. Some people can do it, be single-minded and only talk about, say computer networking all day long. I can't, and I bet most people can't.
Odds are, in most companies people are going to find ways to slack. You get bored of your job, so you need a diversion for your mind. Well rather than playing games online, chatting endlessly with co-workers about blaise topics, you could be doing something creative and constructive.
If more companies realized this, they could harness much more energy out of their employees. Allow people to do some side projects that might not appear to be related to their job but if it's their passion, something good is likely to come out of it. Google realized this and many of their hits came out of such side projects (take Gmail for example).
Yes, structure and goals are a good thing and people need them, but most companies would get back more from their employees if they gave them some leeway.
Me, I blog and twitter. ;-)
----
As an aside, after writing this I was able to tackle some email that previously I was unable to approach.
Buffalo Trip (Saturday)
I made plans to spend time with my sister Mary Kay and her family. I hadn't talked to her in like a year and had felt horrible about it (I blame World of Warcraft and my own built-in shyness that I still fight to this day). I stopped at Walmart in Hamburg first for some fresh clothes (I had run out of undies and socks!), some throwaway cameras and an iPod touch case.
I thought about this was where I grew up and maybe I'd see someone I knew. Then I decided to try something and I changed that thought into "I WILL see someone I know" but I didn't think about who. During check-out, I hear someone call to me, it was my nephew Jonathan!!! He and his friend Johnny were shopping for last minute stuff for mutual friend Wes's bachelor party (i.e. tubs for alcohol).
Driving to Mary Kay's, I saw another Ron Paul sign on the corner of her street. I shouldn't have worried about being disconnected from her and her family because the moment I got there I knew everything was all good. We started talking like no time had passed, catching up on everything: her job, the kids, our Mom, her Mom (yes, she has two), my life etc. The kids were great and the younger ones (Mike and Lauren) were enthralled by my iPod Touch.
Anyway, we basically hung out all day, went to her hubby Billy's store and ate some chicken finger subs, played some Rock Band, had pizza, then went bowling.
Around 11:00 PM, the kids went to bed and I was able to cruise to Lisa's house to hang with her, Scott and Heather. It was a cool scene there, my sort of partying - WNY people talking about the Sabres, polish vs. Irish vs. other nationalities, etc. Alcohol was flowing, but I don't really drink any more, so I milked one beer all night (I made it look good and no one asked any questions ;-) I did do a tasty shot of something or other as well.
Had a deep conversation with Heather and it was great to really reconnect with her. She and Scott are madly in love: they dated in the 90s but then went their separate ways, both missing the other one all this time. She gave up a great job to come to Buffalo and be with Scott. It's heartwarming, it truly is.
I stayed there pretty late (around 3:00) but drove home sober.
Fri May 22, 2009
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