Jonahan.com

Buffalo Trip (Friday)

Well crap - I lost a whole blog post I wrote up last Sunday morning. But that's a blessing in disguise and perhaps I can give a better story after getting some perspective on my trip to Buffalo. I left off the story on Thursday, the day Michelle and I went to see where brother Bob wrecked.

So Friday I met up with my great friends Scott and Heather. We went to see Star Trek with their cute kid Morgan (a demon disguised as a cute kid, so they tell me). It was a gloriously beautiful day and Scott had gotten off of work early. In all honesty, I was only going to see Star Trek because Scott wanted to see it - but holy crap it was about 5 times better than I could have expected. (Go see it.)

Then we got some pizza from Imperial Pizza and hung out over at Scott's sister's Lisa's place. Her kid and Heather's two kids were running around causing chaos as we ate, drank and shot the shit. It was so great to see them all.

Lisa, to me, embodies a WNY woman: will say anything on her mind at any moment, cuss, what have you, not afraid to say or do anything, and I really like that.

It seemed like I was always scurrying around WNY on this trip, maximizing the use of my time, and Friday was no exception: I wanted to hang there longer but had to get back to Ray's for dinner. My niece Michelle was coming over with her kids and I'd be able to get to know her older son Jared. (Also Sister Deb, Megan, Ray and Di and a couple of little'uns were there.)

Di had gotten Beef on Weck (oh lordie, there goes the calorie tracker off the charts) which was great. I had an eye ache and felt like hiding in a corner, but fought it off and started talking with Jared. He's REALLY into wrestling so he ran thru all his heroes/favorites, many of which were mine growing up. We practiced a choke slam several times. ;-) He's a real good kid.

Meg and I dropped Ray's car off at the dealership for repairs and chatted about life on the way back. She's a real good person to talk to about stuff.

Fri May 22, 2009

Some Closure For Everyone (Allegany Trip)

It started off as an ugly day in Buffalo, cool and rainy. I headed over to my niece Michelle's around 11:30 with plans on grabbing lunch. We caravanned in two cars with her b/f and his friend to Bella Pizza. Bella's was fitting because her kid is named Bella (or Isabella) and I used to work there (plus my cousin owns Bella's Italian Grille in Celina, Ohio). We both had a deep-seated longing for making sweet loving to a chicken finger sub. If you've never been to Buffalo for a CF sub, you simply MUST have one before you die. (get it shaken in barbecue sauce and with mayo or blue cheese on it.)

Her boyfriend Zenni treated us, which was very cool. I ordered a water, but then I saw they had Loganberry and just HAD to have some (if you've not had it, it's another reason to visit Buffalo, kind of like a non-carbonated black cherry sugared drink). So I went to pay for the loganberry and talked to Dave (the owner and my former boss), figuring he wouldn't remember me, but he did! The dude looked good, like he hadn't aged a bit and he ran down the list of people I knew that still worked there. I'll fast forward through the meal, but we did talk hockey a bit and it was great.

So Michelle wanted to head down to Allegany to see where her Dad wrecked, for both closure and to see if there was any wrongdoing in his death. As we understand it, he sat on the side of the road for 2 hours until help came. On the way, we talked about her Dad and she filled me in on the last several years when we didn't talk. Apparently, he cleaned up shortly after Michelle's 1st kid, no pot, nothing and really became a great grandpa. He told Michelle about a few things to give me when/if he died. It seemed that he knew he was going to go soon. It really filled me with regret that I hadn't talked to him before he died - I had totally forgiven him and him me, but we hadn't talked since '98.

(Note - by the start of our trip everything had cleared up and it was sunny and beautiful)

We went thru the absolutely stunning hilly countryside that Bob loved to hunt and fish in around Allegany. His girlfriend has 50+ acres and that must have been a wonderland for Bob. We stopped for ice cream but realized we were hungry again, so got some Texas Red Hots (is that another Buffalo food? I think so.) Then we got some Perry's Ice Cream (ANOTHER Western New York food that can't be beat). I got my Dad's old favorite: Butter Pecan (and we say it like "butter pee-can", deal with it)

Then we went to the place Bob wrecked. It took us a bit to find it, but we pieced together the scene CSI-style and found where paint scraped off his bike. This was really tough and emotional, but good in the long run. Michelle asked neighbors for info and the once guy was a state trooper who was on the scene within 5 minutes. He also said it didn't look like Bob's injuries were life-threatening: Bob had tied off his broken leg and wasn't bleeding too badly. Not sure of the rest of the story, but if it's true he sat there on the road for two hours, there may be cause for legal proceedings. Michelle says some other questionable stuff happened while in the hospital, but I don't remember exactly what. At the very least she was able to talk to him before he passed.

It was rough, but I was glad I could be there for her. She thanked me for joining her on the trip, but I got a lot out of it too. We reconnected in many ways, and I think she got a lot of closure.

I had possible plans with my friend Scott to hang out but I was too tired after the day's events and had to head back "home".

Thu May 14, 2009

On to the next adventure, brother Bob

I was hit by bolt of information out of the blue yesterday: my brother Bob died due to a motorcycle accident.

Even now I'm not sure what to say about it. Did I love him? Yes. But we were fairly estranged for a while. The last time I talked to him was in '98 as we'd a "difference of opinion" to put it mildly. But we patched things up via his daughter and I didn't have any hard feelings. I'd forgiving him for things he did and hopefully he did the same for me.

I keep stopping and starting my writing again, not knowing what to say. When that happens during writing I tell myself to circle back the to truth, back to the root reason for writing the story/book/blog post. I guess that'd have to be an acknowledgement of his life, that he'll be moving on to whatever you want to call the next big adventure, and that those remaining that were close to him need some support.

Bob was an interesting guy to say the least. He could charm anyone when he wanted to, but also had a hair-trigger temper. When we were out fishing once he caught a carp, which most fishermen despise as being useless. So Bob put an M-80 in it's mouth, tossed it overboard and we waited for it to go off. Thing is, the fish stayed on the surface rather than head underwater and the main body of the thing flew up in the air and landed in the boat: we were covered with fish guts and blood. This was the sort of thing that would happen any day you hung out with Bob.

Many people are likely amazed that Robert got this far in life. He had way more than nine lives and had been in motorcycle accidents previously. Fistfights were a common occurrence and I remember at least a couple calls from jail in the middle of the night and he asked Dad to bail him out.

He would give you the shirt off his back or the last bit of weed left in his stash, but then he might turn on you in an instant. Who am I to say whether he was a good or bad guy? He just was. Unpredictable, yes, and conflicted to be sure, but my brother. We only had the same father, but still share a great many traits.

We didn't grow up together either, which allowed for a different sort of relationship. Think more of an older brother who had left the house before you could remember but came back from time to time. He'd bring his druggie friends in from South Buffalo to our clean little suburban community. He seemed to always have hot items for sale (a TV, VCR, golf clubs, etc.), and once as a teenaged youth I purchased some weed from him in my parents basement.

In any case, I do know that these physical bodies aren't all that we are. Robert will be able to see the Mother that died when he was so very young. He'll be able to reconnect with our Dad and everyone else that went before him.

It is those that remain here that were closest to him that have trouble and grief. But the grieving can take solace in the fact that we can still talk to them. They can watch over us and hear us and help us out from time to time.

We are beings of energy and energy never dies. Souls carry on and live out their ultimate purpose: experiencing creation over and over again. This life is but one stop on the journey.

The message for me in this is something I don't always do: live life to the fullest and do what you want to do. Don't get caught up in all the other bullshit.

The message for Bob is godspeed on your journey! Don't stick around here, everyone here will be ok. You can check in on your loved ones and help them out from where you are.

The message for the grieving is don't worry. Grieving is fine and a natural process, but you never *truly* lose your loved one. You can always talk to them and they'll be helping you out.

Love you Bobby!

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I'm not sure what to feel about what I wrote. Some may think I'm crazy, others sappy, but I had to "just write" and let it all hang out there.

Sat May 9, 2009

Yellow Springs and Clifton Gorge Trip

Alright, I posted this on Facebook but figured I'd make it public too. Steve (@maninblack) and I headed down to YS and Clifton Gorge on 4/27/09 and this is the lil writeup I did. Here are the photos we took.

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It was a pretty eventful day. I woke up at 6:00AM, thinking it was WAY too early. But hte dogs needed out, therefore I *had* to get up. I spent some time on the couch, debating if I should continue with my plans to meet up with Steve or... just sleep forever on that comfy couch. Dreams called me back to them, but I couldn't let Steve down and we had some SHIT planned.

Ok, nothing crazy, just a vague trip to head down to Yellow Springs, Ohio to check out the Tarot shops, books shops and other cool stuff. If the wind blew us that way, we'd continue down to Circleville, Ohio to check out the Serpent Mounds.

The trip down went quick, as time is wont to do when you're with friends and having good conversation. We "magically" found Yellow Springs as neither of us had been there nor did we have directions or a map. Call it luck or what have you but we wound up there.

It's a pretty cozy and crazy little college town, chock full of hippies. It'd been a while since I'd been in a place like that but I knew right off the bat this was a town I could stand to live in.

We got there at like 10:00 and still most stuff wasn't open, so we had a coffee. At 11:00 we hit the used bookstore and I found some gems (a book on dreaming and some other random metaphysical stuff). Steve surprised me with a present of a Dan Brown book - Digital Fortress. We checked out a head shop, a tarot/crystal shop and some other random hippie stuff. All very cool. We grabbed some calzones before heading to Clifton Gorge.

I want to say Clifton Gorge is like Zoar Valley in NY, but maybe not as wide open. It's ... well ... a gorge, not a valley, duh. I'll let the pictures I uploaded talk more about this, but it was a cool experience.

At around 4:00 we headed home. Steve came over to my place and then we headed to the quarry near my house.

As if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, we headed over to a party for people we didn't know: our friend Andrew knew them and we decided to be adventurous/social. It turned out pretty ok and good to see Andrew, his woman Missy and other friend Kelly.

And it's 11:30PM as I write this.... yeah, good, eventful day. :)

Mon April 27, 2009

Movies that define me

I made a list of the top 5 movies and it was extremely difficult. I looked at the list I had eliminated and loved them all. I wanted to refine and add to it and have something to check back on when I needed a laugh or pick-me-up. If you want to know me, this might be a good insight.

Top 5 movies:

Road Warrior

Billy Madison

40 Year Old Virgin

Empire Strikes Back

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Others (loosely categorized)

Falling Down

The Big Lebowski

Ghostbusters

Red Dawn

Die Hard

Sin City

V for Vendetta

Back to the Future

The Fifth Element

Pulp Fiction

All Pixar Films these in particular:

Incredibles

Toy Story

Wall-e

Ratatouille

Kill Bill

Fight Club

A Clockwork Orange

Pitch Black

The Terminator

The Matrix

Lord of The Rings Trilogy

War Games

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan

Empire

Serenity

Tron

Raiders

Labyrinth

Krull

Austin Powers (Original)

Old School

School of Rock

Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny

Napoleon Dynamite

Tropic Thunder

Groundhog Day

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Goonies

Revenge of The Nerds

Big Trouble in Little China

Beetlejuice

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The Life of Brian

This is Spinal Tap

Police Academy

National Lampoon's Vacation

Wayne’s World

The Jerk

Blazing Saddles

Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

Clueless

Zoolander

Half Baked

Dumb and Dumber

Kingpin

Clerks

Clerks II

Dogma

Sat April 18, 2009

The Tower Of Power Is Glowering At Me

Arthur C. Clarke said that in order to write, you should just write - that is, practice writing even when you don't feel like it. Just start writing with no intention in mind in order to get the gears moving, in other words, "pump priming".

The following is what came forth in such a pump priming session. More backstory is required though. I sent my writing to Man In Black who then felt compelled to write off the cuff. The 1st is mine, the 2nd is his.

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The Tower of Power is glowering at me. It's frigid stare doesn't

compare to the whole in my heart. Great is the weight that I bear. A noose made of chain around my neck. Hell: I never believed in it as a real, literal thing, but it is out there. It's in everyone's mind, it is what we make it. We can break out if we dare to believe, if we choose to fight, if we do what's right.

But much easier it is to sit in the filth, to not do anything. I choose to sit here in my soiled diapers and stew like a spoiled baby. 'Wah', no one is feeding me, 'Wah', I am in pain, I cry. I cry and cry but don't actually do anything about it. I have the power to change my clothes into a tuxedo and fly away into the clouds, but that... that would be something new. Going beyond my limits is something I have given up.

I used to be alive, but that was eons ago. So here I sit, in my

squalor in my shit, contemplating nothing forever, in the shadow of

the Tower.

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The Tower of Power is glowering at me. The essence of existence is flowering within me. The Tower of Flowers and the Power of Existence is moldering within each of us monkeys. The monk has the key! He always has, that perverse little round-haired, bloated-belly friar-tucker. "Give us the key!", we scream and we cry. We wail our laments in to a deaf, heedless sky. "Why then try?", we ask the sky, but since the dawn of time - there's been no reply.

So we run and we gibber and we cower in fright; each monkey dreaming himself a monk with a key through every eternal night. The keyhole is evil, vacant and remote. My thumb is opposable but my fate is not. The monks mock me from the balconies of their enlightened estate. I fling my feces at the holy men, sling my excrement at the whole of man, scream "Shit! Cocksucker! Fuck! Amen!!!", but the door remains barred and the keyhole remiss.

And the Tower of Power glowers at me.

Fri April 17, 2009

A Psychometry Experiment (Paranormal or Just Normal?)

Here's a weird and fun experiment for ya!

I was reading a book on psychic stuff and in it was described an experiment on psychometry. Psychometry, the book explained, is like telepathy or clairvoyance, but it is seeing by touch.

The experiment was this:

You take the four aces out of a deck of cards, shuffle them up and pick one at random without looking. You feel the underside of the card and determine if it's red or black. One of the tips it gave was that you could sort of feel if the card was hot or cold. If you felt coolness, the card was black - if you felt hotness the card was red. (I'm not sure if you were supposed to feel this in your hand or in your mind.)

I had mixed results the first time I did it: I nailed eight in a row, but then missed eight in a row. The second time out I did much better: I had thirteen correct guesses and two wrong ones. That's 13/15 correct for a whopping 87% correct!

Granted, the sample set is pretty small, but let me say this....almost every correct guess wasn't just a guess. I was very confident about it and knew the color as I slapped the card down.

Also, the second time out I refined my technique. I imagined a blank square in my mind, set on a black background. I'd then feel the card with both hands in turn, and if the image in my head "lit up" or was colored in at all then the card was red. If it remained blank, it was black.

Crazy? Some might think so. Outside the accepted range of what is possible for a human being? Sure. But to me it's a very natural thing - there's no reason our subconscious couldn't tell us something as simple as the ink color on a playing card.

Tue April 7, 2009

The United States is a Republic, not a Democracy

In the past few years I've learned a lot about our government. I wanted to condense a bit of it here for anyone to check out.

See, one of the biggest dupes the government ever pulled was selling us on the fact that we have a Democracy. We're always saying we need to spread Democracy around the world, and that it's such a good thing.

Truth is, Democracy is scary and evil. Democracy simply means rule by the people, or rather, the majority rules. Convince 51% of the people of something and you own them. This is also known as mob rule, and you could say that a democracy is what condemned Jesus to be crucified.

It's true - when Pilate asked the crowd if Jesus should be set free. Pilate didn't want to make the decision himself, so he left it up to mob rule. He felt that the people would let Jesus off the hook (and he was probably right) but the corrupt priests moved through the assemblage, rousing them and telling of the 'evil deeds' that Jesus did. We all know how the story ended.

Anyway, our founding fathers knew that while a democracy sounds good, eventually it is always ends up tainted and controlled by a one group, an oligarchy.

Socialism/Facism/Communism really all amount to the same thing in the end. Call it what you will but it's rule by just a few, or an oligarchy.

Our founding fathers knew that the only successful form of government that could keep it's citizens free is a Republic - or rule by law. The power was then divided into the branches of government, with most of the power given to the States. They knew that a centralized government was inherently evil - this is what they had fought so hard against England for.

The Constitution said that any power not expressly given to the Federal (central) government was given to the States.

This decentralization of power is what keeps us free ... for now.

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That's all for now - for more info, here's a great video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAgAxZgmLhA&feature=related

Mon April 6, 2009

Weekend Update with Jib Jooblie

Again I have gotten into bad habits. Or rather, forgotten the good habits. Whichever. I haven't done any writing in forever.

I keep saying it's because I'm doing character research, or that I'm thinking up the plot or some bullshit. But in reality I know I'm just being lazy. The only way to write is to just do it, and I haven't been.

Therefore, I'm tying to jumpstart things by writing a bit here. I also need to practice the daily "pump-priming" - just writing a bit every day to get the old brain in gear.

The story I'm working on has been coming along well - MUCH better than I thought I could do. But now I'm coming on some difficult parts, with multiple characters to introduce at the same time.

But I have to remember one of the big things that got me this far in the story: just tell the story you want to tell. In reading Cat's Cradle by Vonnegut, I learned that you didn't need extraneous description. That book had very little, it was concise, to the point. I'm thinking he never described the main character or even say his name and it wasn't needed.

So as far as writing goes, overthink is bad, just do it.

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It was a pretty stellar weekend for the most part. Friday I barely remember, but I must have done something. Ah yes, I talked to Derek, then watched a lot of Chuck episodes (one of my very favorite shows, it has everything!).

Saturday was a work day: dug two garden beds. The rich, moist Ohio soil made it very easy. I thought it'd be a lot harder than it was. Could've helped that it was former farmland. Then painted the dogs' room. Slackin joined in after I got started which was cool. I listened to Adam Carolla's podcast most of the time and painting went fast. We barely had enough paint to finish the room and tried to ration paint towards the end.

Sunday sucked: for whatever reason, my eyes were aching which leads to headaches and jaw clickyness. I'm thinking I was up too late the night before and didn't take my proper nighttime precautions (warm compress followed by wet eye pads and eye drops).

I had planned to do something with someone at some point Sunday, but pain prevented it. My Uncle was in town from D.C. and I wanted to say hi, but it's one of those things where you feel like you shouldn't be in anyone's company because you feel horrible; where the amount of pain makes it so you don't want to talk.

I'm not saying this to get compassion or pity, just that it helps me understand those in great pain. You can take good from everything, and the immense pain I get once in a while at least helps me feel great empathy for sick people. It makes me want to do more for people.

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That's it for now, but I hope to post more often lately!

Mon March 16, 2009

Dumb Drivers & Being Courteous

Ok, in an effort to exorcise the feeling that I need to write and at the same time perhaps allow myself to do some real work, I'm getting out this post.

Things have been crazy lately, but in a good way. Getting a lot of work done and learning a lot: about life, guitar playing, writing and more.

However, driving to work has been a bitch. I go through several towns which means many stoplights. Then there's a long stretch which is two lane highway in the country. And people have been pissing me off. I'm a fairly patient guy, but people have been real assholes lately.

They'll pull out in front of you when you're going 55-60mph and not get up to speed in time, making you slam on the brakes. This happened like three times just this morning. Yesterday, in town, I saw a woman getting out of her car; She opened her door wide and another driver wasn't paying attention and was way too close. *BAM* - his sideview mirror whacked her door. She recoiled back as far as she could and wasn't hurt in any way.

I passed by as the offending car pulled over, ostensibly to exchange insurance info. Once I knew everyone was fine, I allowed myself an overly righteous chuckle. These knuckleheads deserved what they got, as they were both not paying attention. Meanwhile, I had been observing everything and saw the whole thing going down, almost in slow-motion.

I'm not saying I'm awesome or the best driver in the world, but I try my best to be courteous, to pay attention, to not fuck up someone else's day (or worst case scenario, someone else's life). This driving thing is serious bidness, man! People die! Yet so many people are freakin' careless.

Allow me another grumpy old man moment.

Turn signals.

They're not there just for show. It seems that most people only use them because they're required to by law. They'll slow down and *just* before they turn, they flip on their signal.

What good does this do? The point is to SIGNAL to other drivers what your intentions are ahead of time. This way people in front of you could turn or something, and those behind you can appropriately slow down.

If not for everyone else, do it for yourself so that no one else hits you. Have they ever heard of defensive driving? Is that still taught?

Crikey.

In my (not so?) humble opinion it's all about being a courteous driver. Show people what you are doing. Allow for them. Don't make people brake for you. Don't be stupid. Always be on alert.

Thanks for listening, Internets.

Fri February 27, 2009