Jonahan.com

 

Something was different that night, however. As we neared town, we saw brake lights. Too many of them and not in the right spot. Lynn was driving her pickup truck and stated that it was icy as hell (or some analogy to that effect, as ice couldn't form too well in hell). She threw the truck into four-wheel-drive mode and gained some control. SOME control.

 

See, this was black ice we were on, the worst kind. You can't see it at night and you have almost no grip on the road, you can hardly walk on it. It's slicker than slick can be, and we came upon it with no warning. 

 

We quickly figured out what the lights in front of us were: cars that had spun off into the ditch.

 

Lynn pulled the truck over to the side of the road. We knew we had to get out and help, and Lynn was ready to. I didn't want to. My heart started racing and panic began to set in. I somehow knew this would test us both, and I didn't want to be tested just now. Hell, in my mind I was just about to get drunk and gorge myself. I steeled myself, looked at Lynn, and was then ready to do whatever needed to be done. (I seem to remember nodding to each other like, "Let's do this")

 

We got out and headed towards the several cars in the ditch. It looked like two or three cars and a couple people had gotten out. There was a foot or two of snow in the ditch that people were getting stuck in. People were slowing down because of the ice and then just sliding right off the road into the banks of snow. 

 

I came upon a group of kids trying to get a young woman out of the ditch. They didn't seem to know how, so I took charge. "Do you know how to rock it?", I asked, aware at the same time how silly that sounded. She said no, and I explained that she would put the car in reverse, we'd push. Then she'd slam it into forward and we'd let her rock forward. We would repeat until the car was free.

 

It worked pretty well, and we got her out, but there was something I was ignoring. More cars were coming down the road. "Shit", I thought, focusing on the wrong thing, get people out of the ditch later, we need to warn them about the ice first.

 

At this point my memory of what happened is all scattered, so I hope you'll forgive me. I've never been in a battle or war situation, but I can guess things would be similar. So much stuff is happening at once that you just react. That's what Lynn and I did. Here are some things that happened.

 

Lynn and I talked about getting flares or a hazard sign. Lynn was standing in the middle of the road waving people down, to at least let them know to slow down (I believe she had a flashlight). As they went off in the ditch near her, she would keep advancing down the road. 

 

I called 911, the lady said there was ice all across the county, no cops could be spared, they'd get to us when they could. I had to get mean and state how grave the situation was. I have no idea exactly what I said.

 

One car managed to stop in it's own lane. Another was coming, very slowly, but couldn't stop. It slid right into the ass of the one before it, hitting it with a bang. Kids got out of each car, one was wearing shorts and a T-shirt ("Goddamn kids not prepared, and I must be getting old to think like this").

 

Three kids were standing in between the two cars and another was coming in, out of control. Lynn and I knew what was going to happen...like pool balls, one into the other, into the other. The kids stood there dumbfounded. I had a vision of them pinned between cars or chopped in half.

 

"Move!", Lynn yelled. But they stood there. "Move now!", I yelled louder. No movement. The car came closer. I commanded at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT FROM IN BETWEEN THE CARS, NOW!!!", and finally they ran off to the side of the road.

 

Sure enough, like a demolition derby, the car rammed into the 2nd one propelling it forward into the 3rd. Those kids would've been in a world of hurt.

 

Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion and there were so many bangs and crunches that it was commonplace, it felt almost like a video game.

 

There were several cars on either side of the road. There were now enough lights to get everyone slowed down enough by the time they reached the ice. 

 

I believe it was about then that a cop showed up. He pulled over to the side of the road to park and immediately got himself stuck. "Idiot.", I thought to myself. But then I remembered that I grew up in Buffalo and knew how to deal with snow - this is Lima, OH and they don't get it as bad as we do.

 

Even though the cop was there, I knew he wasn't in charge yet - WE were. The cop started talking to the kids about the accidents, getting names, license numbers, etc. rather than worrying about the people still going off the road. Again, "Idiot", I thought.

 

But shortly after, things seemed well enough where no one would get injured and we decided our services weren't needed any more. We drove away to get our beer and marveled to ourselves..."What the FUCK just happened?"

 

I grew up a lot that night. I knew I could take charge and had to take charge at times. I also realized how strong a woman Lynn is - she didn't back down from anything.

 

I'll tell you one other thing: that Labatt Blue tasted REALLY good that night.